The realization has finally struck, that the one whose absence is
making you miserable doesn’t love you anymore or being little more practical
never did love you. At first it does seem devastating almost like an earth
shattering feeling. The love you thought it was has become an illusion for you
now. Days are spent trying to figure out that there was probably something
wrong with you; something that you did or didn't do that could've saved your
precious relationship. Repeatedly you may even try to find ways to make
yourself look more lovable, like there has to be this one thing or the many set
of things about you that you can change and then magically you will be accepted
by the center of your world. You almost dream of him or her come back running
to you, taking you back in their arms that may remind you of a scene from some
RomCom flick you may have watched during your teens.
But NO! You can't possibly bring anyone back into your life! I totally
defy all those articles or books that are written on how you can get your ex
back. Its waste of time if read. I humbly beg to differ with those theories
because when you broke up with them, or if we can put it the other way round
when they broke up with you there was something that had turned off inside them
and in turn they made the decision to stop loving you and wanting out of the
relationship that they shared with you. Can you imagine someone in
love with you not wanting to save a relationship that made a difference to
them? Or can you imagine someone who wants you so much, loves you so much not
wanting to fight for being with you or not wanting to do everything possible to
save the relationship? See you have your answer there! You did not matter to
them then, how are you going to be valued later? It’s just like they wanted it
out and they got it.
If only you could realize how little it has to do with you, and it
is so much to do with them! But at that point of time we don’t think rationally.
It’s ironical, People’s abilities to disengage themselves. It’s a
scary truth to realize. It’s a much easier pill to swallow when there are
concrete reasons why the love stopped — it makes people seem less scary and
more rational — but sometimes the loss of love is just as irrational as love.
Realizing
this might sound like the ultimate torture to the already grim life you are
living anyways, but believe it, accepting this fact is the ultimate relief. You
are going to stop re-running episodes of how you could have done something or
said something or not done anything at all to save that relationship or try to
device strategies to get your ex back. Accept that the love switch has
turned off in your ex’s head forever that it is something inside them that
has changed forever and that there is nothing that you can do to change it. The
point is that people change and outgrow each other. Placing the blame on
yourself and agonizing over what you could’ve done to change the outcome is
fruitless. It’s all chemical anyway. Take the weight of that grief off your
shoulders, just let go of it all take solace in knowing that you will be loved
again for who you are.
