THE MELANCHOLY OF ADULTHOOD

Sighs! How many of us have been through curfews levied on us by our parents during our teenage years? This isn’t even our fault! It is all because of the chemical reactions in our brains that would signal us do crazy things like get fatally attracted to the opposite sex. The girls would guzzle on endless RomCom novels or movies weaving fantasies of a quixotic married life similar to their current favorite novel or movie and the male fraternity would visualize endlessly about the curves of their lady love and her beauty spots! Both of them eager to be with the other just that the entire universe that includes their terrorizing parents and the agonizing society are all at their malevolent best! They cannot stand to see the happiness of the young couple! All that they were devising were strategies to get the two of them to stay away from each other. Perhaps now if we looked back we could laugh at the episodes when our parents or our friend’s parents would turn into law enforcement agents or the descendants of Sir Sherlock Holmes by implementing every theory in the book to discover secret affairs if any of their offspring; The “unfortunate” parents could foresee their future and the future of their son doomed because of the girl who seemed to have driven them and their precious son to sleepless nights; And also caused a turmoil in his grades and mark sheet!

The wobbly teenage soon follows a phase when the realization hits you that your teenage dream of getting married or having a girl by your side could finally come true. Your parents, the once upon a time villains of your teenage romance are on the lookout for a suitable better half for you but interestingly you find yourself laden up with doubts about the whole marriage idea the picture doesn’t

seem to look all that glossy any more. You tend to mull over the responsibilities that come with the institution like paying the bills on time, up keeping and maintaining the nest you reside within, ensuring that you do not under any circumstances go bankrupt at the end of the month, or finding employment with a stable income. You finally realize that you cannot sit on your bum around all day playing a guitar, just reading a book, catching up with friends for a casual leisurely coffee or a movie. Because that doesn’t keep the fires in the kitchen burning.

You begin to gauge the consequences of your actions and if you got married; the responsibilities of married life becomes a reality as well. You realize the importance of keeping your service provider happy by ensuring timely payment of your bills, the concept of living in a clean pest free environment where people don’t trip on the mess in your room becomes clearer to you. Maintaining a decent bank balance which is not on the brink of being dangerously close to the minimum requirement becomes a reality too. The point here is one really doesn’t have to bother about such realities when it’s just you taking care of yourself. Doing the laundries not this week but next is ok, keeping your hair messed up and wandering in old pajamas is fine if you don’t have the love of your life living with you, who would probably faint at the sight of the disheveled you. Nor is having kids and loading yourself up with another living being’s responsibility a very appealing aspect.

I think early on parents must have mature conversations with their children about life, their daily struggles, how they work so hard to provide them with a decent living, and how they work towards making their relationship as a spouse work. Children should be taught about life not being a mere fantasy, because often they enter adulthood, relationships and responsibilities having the wrong notions instilled which mess with their ideas of shouldering responsibilities and handling relationships with maturity. Either they begin to reject the idea of mature adulthood responsibilities and relationships, or they continue to live in their superficial fantasies. When these folks finally jolt out of their imaginations they are either in denial or are unable to accept and accommodate the workings of a real relationship.